Taking My Hijab Off

Hijab is basically a head scarf that Muslim women wear. Today I am writing this blog after discussing this with my family and closest friends to inform them of my decision as to why I am taking the hijab off. I know I am dropping a BOMB here, but before we get to this blog let me just say that I am writing this because I have my mind made up NOT because I need ANYONE’S approval about MY hair/body.

I LOVE the hijab and I think it really adds more life to a lot of outfits and clothing. Taking the hijab off does NOT mean that I hate it or have any less respect for women who wear it. I think that you can wear whatever the hell you want because you are NOT defined by what you wear. Modesty is presented through character, through actions and good deeds. You can be a hijabi muslim who sits in the corner and gossips shit about others and you can also be a hijabi who does good deeds and still loves and follows Islam.

I am NOT trying to promote this idea or encourage ANYONE to take it off. I still very much believe in GOD [Allah] and I LOVE Islam so much! Taking the hijab off is NOT me leaving Islam, even though that is none of anyone’s business. Also, I will NOT remove my Instagram and Facebook pictures with the scarf. I love that journey and I think I looked darn fabulous with the head scarf. I am aware of the judgements that I will get and people saying shit like “why even wear it in the first place if you’re going to take it off?” I know there are people who will say that I am not ‘innocent’ or ‘decent’ enough. I am also aware people will say other shit like “What will you tell God when you meet him?” My response to all these questions is that it is something that is between me and Allah, and again, it is MY journey, MY business.

Why Are You Taking it Off Then?

Not that I have to explain myself to anyone, but I will share my thoughts and reasons here and that is the whole purpose of this blog. Don’t like it? LEAVE.

  1. INTENTION – In Islam, EVERYTHING is about INTENTION. You know how people always tell you that if you’re going to pray or do ‘charity’ work then you have to do it with the right intentions and for the right reasons? Well this applies to the hijab, too, and I am starting to feel disconnected from the HIJAB NOT from God. And I have always worn the hijab for GOD, NOT for people. I feel like if I wear the hijab whilst feeling disconnected from it then I would be cheating Allah and I would be a hypocrite in the pursuit of getting a pat on the back from Muslims. I would be dismissing everything I wrote in my previous blogs about authenticity and being true to yourself. Here is an Islamic verse (Hadith) about intentions: إنما الأعمال بالنيات وإنما لكل امرئ ما نوى
  2. Wore it for Too Long – I don’t mean that I am sick of wearing it or bored of it, but when I chose to wear it almost 6 years ago I wore it because I WANTED TO. I am still in my early 20’s and like it or not, there are outfits and certain clothing that I would love to try on and wear. Clothing to me is a form or self-expression and I would love to explored that. This goes back to what I said earlier about wearing it for the ‘right reasons,’ and if I am having these thoughts and urges to try out other stuff, then I am NOT wearing it with the right intention.

I am NOT asking anyone to approve of MY decision or agree with it. It’s a choice that I made and it is between me and God. Those who support me, I LOVE you for not being a closed-minded-culturally-brainwashed and for understanding that a scarf does NOT change who I am for the better. I am who I am because of who I CHOSE TO BE. I am still the same goofy, strong, independent and badass hardworking woman! Anyone who decides to be a judgemental ass or to ‘stay away from Hoezana’ I am so glad you decided to do that because now I know who really loves me and if I made the right decision to have you in my life.

A woman’s clothing is NOT the only way to serve God, so stop putting that kind of pressure on women making them feel inadequate or not “muslim enough” without it. Just fuck off already, seriously though. You can be a “good muslim” with and without the hijab. It’s about actions and your character.

And I will keep the scarves I have to wear them around my neck in winter and make my clothes look even more classy and trés chic 🖤

I will NOT be answering to anyone or explain myself further, worry about YOUR soul and YOUR connection to God (if you believe in Allah) NOT about me. My life decisions won’t contribute to your life in any shape or form, and if it does, boo-hoo I guess? Hahaha.

I did NOT work on my confidence and self-love that hard to go back to feeling like I can’t be myself because of a scarf. Sorry Not Sorry.

MY body, MY rules. MY way 💋

A kiss from me to the Haram Police and also to those who have always supported me.

A Little Sunshine 💋

If no one told you this today, you’re beautiful. You’re strong. You’re resilient. You’re capable of doing ANYTHING. You’re unstoppable! You have the ability to go above and beyond🖤

YOU are amazing in so many ways. If you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, know that the weight will drop day by day. The pain will subside and you’ll see the light at the end of a tunnel one day.

The deeper the wound, the closer you are to a breakthrough. If you feel alone, know that even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, there is someone out there who cherishes you. There is someone out there who sees your beauty beyond your flaws, beyond your failures and beyond your perfect imperfections.

You deserve so much happiness, compassion and true love. You deserve someone who values you for who you are. You deserve people who feel you without saying anything. You deserve to be showered with so much joy and sunlight! 🖤

If you feel lost, know that soon you will find some guidance. If you need to cry, know that we all have two shoulders just for you. If you need a hug, know there are plenty of arms out there to hold you tight and that you are NEVER alone 💋

Stop looking at yourself as a failure, know that you’re still learning. Stop looking at yourself as incompetent, you are a precious being. Stop looking at yourself as a jackass, you’re only changing from here. Stop looking at yourself as ugly, you have a beautiful soul. Stop the self-hate and practice self-love instead. YOU.ARE.WORTHY 💋


Sending you tons of light, good vibes and tight hugs 🖤 If no one told you this today, I love you to infinity and beyond 💋 And fuck anyone who says otherwise..

Pfffft. Normal is overrated y’all. Be your weird self and love the fuck out of it 🖤💋👑

Confession Time

I am always so inspired to write the blogs I write about mental health, self-love, confidence, body image, food blogs and relationships. I’m really passionate about what I write and I always remind myself of the reason why when blogging about more difficult topics.

I’ll be real with you all – sometimes it isn’t easy to write about a real life experience because there are moments that I kinda re-live that experience in my mind and the emotions can be a bit raw. For that, I separate those “feelings” and focus more on spreading the message and raising awareness. As corny as this sounds, I want to help as many people as possible and inspire them by bringing out the best in all of us.

The point of this blog entry is that pushing feelings aside doesn’t make them go away, they come back a day or two later. And that’s what just happened to me now, I remembered the shit I wrote in my last blog entry and I felt sick to my stomach. I hate to say this, but I cried now for a good two minutes [ONLY, thankfully] and I am glad I did (which I haven’t done in a long time). I needed to flush this out of my system completely and I fucking did like the queen I have worked so hard to become.

Having a moment of rumination is OKAY! We all take round trips from time to time to reflect on the past to heal, grow, evolve and learn. And that is the most beautiful part of this journey. On that note, I’ll end this blog with a quote from Grey’s Anatomy.

“No one remembers easy. They remember the blood and the bones and the long, agonizing fight to the top. And that is how you become… Legendary.”

Stay fucking awesome, bold, fearless and badass 💋 Also, put on your crown and remind them all of who they’re dealing with 👑